This is a poem that many heart moms and dads receive while sitting in the hospital awaiting the future of their little ones battling with a heart defect. Samantha's heart condition is major but when compared to other little angels her fight has been secure and filled with many blessings. I found this on a blog from a heart mom that we shared time with during Samantha's last surgery almost two years ago in April of 2008.
It's a beautiful day up in heaven. Jesus is rounding up his tiniest angels, to go live on earth, and be born. One of the sweetest angels says to Jesus "I don't want to leave, I like it here, and I will miss you". He reassures the scared little angel that everything will be okay, and that she is just going for a visit. She is still not swayed on this idea. So Jesus kneels down, and says, "How about if you leave half of your heart here with me and take the other half with you, will that be okay?" The angel smiles and says, "I guess that will work". But the little angel is still a little scared. She asks,"Will I be okay with only half of my heart?" Jesus replies,"Of course you will, I have other angels there that will help out, and you will be fine." Then Jesus gives the angel more details about his plan. He says "When you are born, your mommy will be scared, so you have to be strong, and when you feel weak just remember that I have the other half of your heart". "Enjoy your time with your family, play and laugh everyday." "And when its time to come back to heaven, I will make your heart whole again. Always remember that you are not broken, just torn between two loves."
I have never had the courage to follow Gracie's blog...I left the hospital with a prayer in my heart for this baby girl and told myself she would be ok- she just had to be. I have just found out that Gracie died last year in March 2009...right before her first birthday following a heart transplant. I only knew of this family for three days while Samantha was in the PICU but I had wonderful conversations and shared my experiences with them...hoping to give them hope too. I overheard and witnessed blessings, faith and love that were indescribable and I often have thought about this family and their little Gracie. Samantha's procedures have always went picture perfect with tiny little bumps but nothing like what this family has endured. Ryan and I learned very quickly that when you want to feel great about your crappy situation go sit in the PICU and start talking to those people there. I always find myself grateful for my situation and praying for those that are currently learning a different lesson and following a different path that their Heavenly Father has made for them.
I have been reading her blog and have been crying almost nonstop for hours now. Looking at their pictures and words I have many memories flooding over me with Sam and the heartache we went through with her and the scary times that I know we will still have to face. When I learned of her condition minutes after her birth, I turned right to my Heavenly Father...even though I had probably not said a prayer since I was a young girl. It is amazing the lessons you learn during your trials. I pray that now that I am a mother of three beautiful girls...the lessons I have learned and the gospel that has found me once again (from childhood roots and a wonderful friend, my Missionary, Simon) will remain strong in my heart, mind and actions.
I read this on another blog and it rang true for me..."Sometimes I feel like I loose faith...not in our Heavenly Father but in myself" to be able to endure to the end and participate in his plan for my family and my most precious girls.
1 comment:
That poem was very beautiful! Sometimes we take for granted the life that we have not knowing what others may be facing. My love goes out to any mother that is faced with health challenges with their little ones. Sometimes it's hard to understand why we have to go through the things we do...especially our children.
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